DNA SchmeeNA

DNA is currently available on instant Netflix

One Line Review: Act 1 & 2 rip off Jurassic Park, Act 3 rips off Predator.



DNA (1997) – Rated R

Scientists find the skeleton of a strange creature in the jungle, and expert Ash Mattley is called in to re-create the creature by extracting its DNA. The experiment is a success, but one scientist turns the creature into a fierce killer.

DNA is not the most shameless non-Asylum ripoff I have ever seen. That title belongs to the Roddy McDowall howler, Unknown Origin which lifted entire snatches of dialogue from other, far better movies. DNA is a close second though.

The first two acts of DNA rip off Jurassic Park, Alien, and Terminator 2 in a rather incomprehensible mess. Jurgen Prochnow  does his usual – i.e. “okay I’ll play your cardboard villain, where’s my check?”.

Martial artist and perennial direct-to-video star Mark Dacascos just can’t win. At least he has one plum role in his resume. He played Mani in Brotherhood of the Wolf. Please go rent/buy that as long as you don’t mind subtitles. DNA is just garbage.

The third act of DNA changes movies to ape Predator. In Predator, Arnold jumps into water to avoid creature. Creature splashes into water just after Arnold exits. Arnold spreads stuff on his bare chest. Creature has strange enhanced (read less useful) vision. Arnold builds traps including one with a huge log (insert joke here) but the creature avoids them. Replace Arnold in the above sentences with Dacascos and you have DNA.

People Watch: Mark McCracken, who plays Sergeant Reinhardt here, had previously been buried under makeup as Pumpkinhead in Pumpkinhead II and Mant in Matinee.

The Poseidon Adventure – Don’t Get on That Boat! week

This week is Don’t Get on That Boat! week. The Poseidon Adventure is currently available on instant Netflix.

WARNING: This movie is only available through January 31

The Poseidon Adventure

WATCH: The Poseidon Adventure (1972) – Rated PG.

“As the luxury liner Poseidon charts its course on New Year’s Eve, disaster strikes when an undersea earthquake causes a titanic tidal wave and capsizes the vessel, leaving just 10 survivors. Led by a no-nonsense reverend (Gene Hackman), the group must maneuver through airshafts, electrical cables and a burning engine room to the boat’s hull, which is their lone chance for escape. The film scored an Oscar for Best Song (“The Morning After”).”

“The Andrea Doria stayed afloat 10 hours before she sank.”

The granddaddy of the disaster genre, The Poseidon Adventure still holds up pretty well after 38 years. In spite of the above quote, the circumstances behind the disaster are clearly patterned on Titanic lore. The Captain is urged, cajoled, and threatened to move his ship at top speed in spite of his better judgment by the owners.

One of the perks of the disaster genre is the cornucopia of stars parading through the film. The real star here is Gene Hackman who appears to take the material entirely too seriously but is a treat nonetheless. While he could hold a film by himself, he does have ample support.

Shelley Winters takes her role very seriously as well. She was nominated for a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for her juicy role. Jack Albertson plays her loving husband.

Ernest Borgnine is Hackman’s counterpart, the opposite that a buddy cop movie would demand – in fact Borgnine plays a detective. Stella Stevens is his wife, a former prostitute.

Rounding out the cast are Red Buttons, Roddy McDowall, Arthur O’Connell, Carol Lynley and a pre-Nancy Drew Pamela Sue Martin. Carol Lynley sings the Oscar-winning song, “The Morning After” somewhat ironically before disaster strikes.

Characters are well-established prior to the rogue wave. After that the film has a number of wonderful action setpieces as the survivors try to work their way through the ship. Director Ronald Neame and reportedly producer Irwin Allen make the epic trek very exciting. An Oscar Special Achievement award was given for visual effects.

In addition to the aforementioned Oscar nods, The Poseidon Adventure was nominated for many others. Best Art Direction – Set Decoration seems an obvious one for the wonderful upside-down sets. It was also nominated for Best Cinematography, Best Costume Design, Best Film Editing, Best Music, and Best Sound.

In the film our main group (headed for the engine room) briefly encounters a group led by the Doctor heading for the bow. Believe it or not a poorly-regarded sequel was made in 1979, “Beyond the Poseidon Adventure” starring Michael Caine. This film deals, at least partially, with that bow group that is only glimpsed in the original.

I highly recommend this journey into “Hell, Upside Down” (the film’s tag line) but Netflix has it listed as only available until 1/31.

Wolfgang Petersen remade the original as “Poseidon” in 2006 while a quickly-made TV movie “The Poseidon Adventure” premiered in 2005.

People Watch: Long before he spoofed himself in Airplane, Leslie Nielsen (Don’t call me Shirley!) played serious roles. Here he is the Captain of the doomed ship. Irwin Allen’s wife, Sheila, appears as a nurse.