Total Retribution (2011) – Rated R
“Trapped on a space station orbiting Earth, a small army of human survivors are prepared to battle the undead in space. Among this group is an unexpected leader whose sole mission is to prevent the destruction of Earth.”
“I can smell you boy” – “Get a whiff of this you f*&^-clown”
Total Retribution is a really bland title. Opening credits show no indication of this being an Asylum film so there’s a good chance I’ll make it through to the end. It begins with a naked lady waking up on a space station (not dissimilar from Milla Jovovich’s wake up call in Resident Evil). While the nudity is distracting, it won’t take anyone long to discover that the special effects have even less of a budget than an Asylum movie.
Normally such a scene would end with the actress getting dressed but apparently more distraction is needed. Every actor delivers each line as though it is the most important they have ever spoken (see sample line above). Just as I’m about to turn it off, they switch from topless to full frontal. Shortly after that, our errant wanderer puts some clothing on and I rapidly lost interest.
This is science fiction on a micro-budget. The CGI creatures are ridiculous (the beach ball in Dark Star was more menacing), and both killer robots and zombie-like humans are thrown into the mix. Total Retribution is not any good but at least it ranks a smidge above an Asylum production.
Super Hybrid (2011) – Rated PG-13
“When a mysterious car rolls onto the premises at a police impound garage in Chicago, the unsuspecting mechanics — who are used to seeing some pretty hot wheels — come face-to-face with a killer specimen.”
“Let’s see a show of hands, who thinks Hector and Al were killed by a man-eating car?”
Director Eric Valette and writer Benjamin Carr start out with the cute concept based on the word hybrid and then simply pattern the movie after Christine. Knowing that they don’t have much of a budget, they change the car to a generic black car (that is able to change its appearance) and set the entire movie in an underground parking garage.
Then someone said they needed a name actor to anchor the movie so someone else says, “what about that cute guy from Resident Evil: Apocalypse?”
“Jared Harris? Yeah he’s a really good actor but he’s busy on Mad Men.”
“No, the other one.”
“Iain Glen? No, he’s busy on Game of Thrones.”
“No, no, the other, other one.”
“Thomas Kretschmann? He just signed on as The Captain in The River.”
“Fine. How about Oded Fehr? Sleeper Cell is over and he appears to be done with Resident Evil. We can get him cheap and make him play Captain Ahab.”
Are there any jobs where fishnet stockings are considered proper attire? Other than actress, of course. I guess they used the same reasoning that Total Retribution did but since it is PG-13 rated, they show one of the actresses in their underwear and the other in fishnet and a lacy bra. Here’s a hint: If you are in a situation – any situation – where people start disappearing one by one, perhaps investigating on your own is not the brightest move.
The young cast is all game and they aren’t uniformly awful. The plot is absolutely ridiculous. Replace the word hybrid with the term serial killer and you wonder if anyone, ever, would decide to catch a serial killer on their own instead of calling the police. I could go on and on about how stupid the writing is but I think I’ve made my point.
Super Hybrid is a bad movie but a watchable one – at least it is much better than Total Retribution.