Retrograde – The Expendables week

In tribute to the incredible cast Sylvester Stallone has lined up for his latest film, this is The Expendables week. Today our expendable is Dolph Lundgren. Retrograde is currently available on instant Netflix.

AVOID: Retrograde (2004) – Rated R for violence, language and some drug use.

“Dolph Lundgren stars as John Foster, a time traveler stationed in the Antarctic who leads a team on a desperate mission into the past to prevent present-day contamination from a deadly space-borne virus. But when one of his men revolts, the teams actions in the past threaten to change the present in disastrous ways. Silvia De Santis, Joe Montana and Gary Daniels co-star in Christopher Kulikowskis sci-fi adventure.”

“You dont have a future Dalton”

Lol. Their “time machine” is a spaceship. My guess is that it was leftover from another movie.

Ugh. The supporting cast all seem to be reading off of cue cards and enunciating clearly and loudly.

Omg. Dolph opens an airlock which sends one baddie into space. The other two villains have no problem holding on not to mention no problems with pressure/temperature/air.

Hrm. I love how we have to show flashbacks to explain how someone hit their head. We even have flashbacks to events that happened literally seconds before.

Meh. Every set in the film looks utterly generic. Even the Antarctic ice is generic.

Ack. Did you know that in the future soldiers wear motorcycle jackets and pants as uniforms?

How? How does time keep changing throughout the film. For hilarious results watch the time on the clocks and watches.

Why? If the rest of the crew was due to be revived in an hour and they are all bad guys, why did the few awake bad guys make their move before the revival?

Who? Someone decided to color code the bad guys (they wear all black) and the fodder (black and red). This is uniformly (teehee) true except for the two pilots where they appear to be wearing each others jackets.

Brb. One character flees down a corridor and gets shot at the end. The only problem is he makes no attempt at all to turn the corner. My guess is that the squibs went off a bit too late.

Bad. My verdict on the film.

I think that the people behind this movie fondly remember Timecop with Van Damme and got Dolph Lundgren because he costarred with Van Damme in Universal Soldier.

Dolph does shine here as, with one exception, he is a better actor than the rest (trust me that is not saying much). It is a shame that instant Netflix does not have Masters of the Universe or I Come in Peace available as those are campy fun Lundgren extravaganzas.

Gary Daniels, another direct to video star, appears here as Markus. He also appears as the Brit in The Expendables.

AVOID this movie, it is quite bad.

People Watch: Our expendable, Dolph, has quite a number of other films available on instant Netflix. Currently available are Rocky IV, Diamond Dogs, Command Performance, and Direct Contact. I am going to guess that any of them would be a better bet than this one.