Category Archives: Liam Neeson

Clash of the Titans – Theatrical

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My wife, daughter and I went to see Clash of the Titans on Friday at Cinebarre. My daughter loves mythology and I love monsters. My wife came along because she loves us. Oh and she also love the milkshakes which Cinebarre serves at your table – I had chocolate, my wife had cookies & cream, and I am not sure which one my daughter had (mint chocolate chip?).

The original Clash of the Titans is currently available on instant Netflix. The remake is only available in theaters so is the remake worth your hard-earned money? In a word,

NO!

PASS: Clash of the Titans (2010) – Rated PG-13 for fantasy action violence, some frightening images and brief sensuality.

“If he is to save the life of the beautiful Princess Andromeda (Alexa Davalos), the valiant Perseus (Sam Worthington) — born to a god but raised as a man — must lead a team of intrepid warriors on a quest to battle a host of powerful, beastly enemies. This sweeping fantasy epic, a remake of the 1981 hit, also stars Liam Neeson as Zeus, Ralph Fiennes as Hades, Danny Huston as Poseidon and Gemma Arterton as Io.”

Where oh where did this go wrong? The original is no classic but is beloved as the last film animated by Ray Harryhausen. The actors in the original are quite wooden but the creatures are absolutely wonderful.

The studios hired hot French action director Louis Leterrier to remake the 1981 film. Previously Leterrier took a good property that had misfired (The Hulk) and remade it into something really cool and worthy of the property (The Incredible Hulk).

The original script, written by Beverley Cross, took many liberties with mythology. The new script, hammered out by 100 blind-folded monkeys on typewriters – wait I mean three separate writers, just chucks mythology and sense out of the window.

Writer Travis Beacham previously wrote Seconds and Dog Days of Summer. Writers Matt Manfredi and Phil Hay previously wrote Aeon Flux and the Tuxedo. I am really not sure who to blame but the writing is dreadful.

I was pretty much cringing through the first half-hour of the film.

When they first show the gods, my wife whispered to me, “Oh my its the gods of the round table”. The gods are shown in full shiny Arthurian-lite battle armor. Not only do they borrow from Arthurian mythos but later in the film, we have Djinn. Never mind that they are not Djinn in any traditional sense of the word.

Someone obviously liked Ralph Fiennes in Harry Potter. Here he plays Hades but they told him not to bother acting. Just play him exactly as if you were Voldemort. That was the sum of his acting direction.

Liam Neeson, normally a wonderful actor, sleepwalks his way through his performance (paycheck please!) but is still of course fun to watch.

I have now seen two (this and Terminator Salvation) of the three tentpole movies that have starred Sam Worthington. I am trying to reserve judgment until I see Avatar but I believe Sam is the new Keanu Reeves. He has no emotional range here at all.

Mads Mikkelson is quite good as Draco and stands out from the rest of the cookie-cutter characters. Sadly he still has to work within the script.

The writing direction for Hades is to take those parts that would normally belong to Poseidon (you know god of the seas, oceans, etc.) and assign them to Hades. So the lord of the Underworld releases the Kraken from the depths of the sea. Hrrrm.

I understand the god/mythology/religion/analogies but they basically portray Hades as Satan throughout the film. All other god roles besides Zeus and Hades are reduced to essentially window dressing.

Apparently Andromeda (Alexa Davos) was not a sufficient love interest for Perseus so we also have Io (Gemma Arterton). In normal Greek mythology Zeus ends up taking Io as a lover and turns her into a heifer to hide her from Hera. She has no part at all in the Perseus story but hey why stop now.

In addition to rewriting mythology, the story makes no sense. Perseus does not live in Argos, is not romantically involved with Andromeda, and apparently does not know anyone in Argos. In spite of this he leads a group of warriors to certain death so that one woman will not have to be sacrificed to save the city.

The action is fun after the first half hour. The Scorpiok fight is quite exciting. These and a few of the performances are the only things that drag this up to the pass level.

The Medusa, which should be the showpiece of the film, looks very plastic-y compared to the rest of the effects. It almost looks as if it the final rendering pass was skipped.

By all accounts AVOID the 3-D version. This film was not made with 3-D in mind – 3D was added in post-production and by all accounts, it is terrible (though I went to the 2D version and do not have firsthand knowledge of the 3D).

People Watch: The other gods have extremely little screen time and if lucky get to utter a single line. Alexander Siddig (Dr. Bashir on Star Trek DS9) plays Hermes. Danny Huston (Colonel Stryker in Wolverine) plays Poseidon. Izabella Miko (Coyote Ugly) plays Athena.

The Dead Pool – Clint Eastwood week

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This is Clint Eastwood week. The Dead Pool is currently available on instant Netflix.

The Dead Pool

PASS: The Dead Pool (1988) – Rated R

“A macabre sports pool is placing bets on which celebrity is going to die next and crossing names off a list as each of them meets their demise. A serial killer who preys on famous figures enters the scene, and suddenly the odds are dramatically changed. When rogue cop “Dirty Harry” Callahan (Clint Eastwood) and high-profile TV journalist Samantha Walker (Patricia Clarkson) suddenly find their names on the list, the game hits too close to home.”

“Do you like cops?” – “As long as they’re not in my rearview mirror”

Yes even 17 years later this is still Dirty Harry. Harry has no problem shooting a fleeing criminal in the back. At this point Harry hardly even seems like a policeman. He doesn’t do police work so much as stumble from shooting to shooting killing everyone. His decision at the end of the film is again vintage Harry.

The real problem with The Dead Pool is that this is a completely lazy by-the-numbers sequel. Instead of stumbling into a bank robbery or a hijacking as in the first two films, Harry stumbles into a restaurant killing which is tangentially related to the plot.

Instead of an African-American partner or a female partner, this time Harry gets a Chinese-American partner. Surprise, the Chinese-American partner knows martial arts (yawn). As with all Dirty Harry films, this partner may as well be wearing a red shirt.

There is a completely disposable, not to mention boring, subplot involving an imprisoned organized crime boss taking out a contract on Harry. This gives Harry an excuse to threaten, beat up, and shoot people.

The Dead Pool portion of the plot could actually have made for a good mystery movie but it is given a half hour at most even though it is the main plot thread.

Someone in production must have really loved Guns ‘n Roses. “Welcome to the Jungle” is prominently featured twice in the film which, while a good song, is a bit of overkill. In addition look for Steven Adler, Duff McKagan, Axl Rose, Slash, and Izzy Stradlin as musicians at a funeral.

There is a hilarious sequence late in the film where they replicate the famous Bullitt car chase. Only this time one of the cars barreling over San Francisco’s hills is a remote-controlled explosive miniature car. This inspired scene alone is almost worth recommending the film.

The Dead Pool is not good but it is quite watchable simply by virtue of Clint’s presence. It is a shame that this was how they chose to end the series.

People Watch: Look for Jim Carrey in an early role as Johnny Squares.