Category Archives: Australia

Triangle – Geometry week

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This is Geometry week. Today we graduate from a simple line to a two-dimensional figure. Triangle is currently available on instant Netflix.

WATCH: Triangle (2009) – Rated R for violence and language.

“Murder strikes the Bermuda Triangle in this gripping high-seas horror starring Melissa George, Liam Hemsworth and Rachael Carpani. Jess encounters the first of many bad omens when her car kills a seagull near the local harbor. Later that night, her yacht hits a storm, forcing her and her friends to board a mysterious deserted ship. The clock on the ship has stopped — and so has any sense of safety. Christopher Smith writes and directs. “

“Oh you are just having a bad dream, that is all baby. That is all it was. Bad dreams make you think you are seeing things that you have not. You know what I do when I have bad dream? I close my eyes and I think of something nice – like being here with you.”

“Umm Greg – is that normal?” – pointing to a rapidly darkening sky.

Christopher Smith both writes and directs this twisty thriller. It is quite well-written and I am glad that the Netflix description does not give much of the plot away.

Melissa George is the star here. Previously seen as Stella in 30 Days of Night and Lauren Reed on Alias, she has to carry most of the movie on her shoulders. She handles the responsibility well. As in 30 Days of Night, she does a good job of mixing tough with vulnerable.

The rest of the cast is comprised of mostly unknowns (Joshua McIvor, Jack Taylor, Michael Dorman, Rachael Carpani and Henry Nixon) who do a creditable job of supporting Melissa George.

I am hard-pressed for what to discuss here. Normally I discuss the first two acts of a film and then vaguely mention anything that happens in the third act so as to avoid spoiling the movie. Triangle is so full of turns during the second act that I cannot describe the plot.

I will say that there are many scenes that will make you go “huh?” that later in the film you will satisfactorily understand.

The first act is reasonably straightforward and appears to be setting up a scenario a la Ghost Ship or Deep Rising but then the script goes somewhere else entirely.

I grew up in Miami so I love movies that are set there. Unfortunately while this is set in Miami, it is filmed in Australia so I did not get to see any childhood landmarks. Except for the obvious Bermuda Triangle connection, this could just as easily have been set in Australia.

And, of course, Australia is beautiful. I would love to go there someday.

The cinematography is well-handled and Netflix presents Triangle in its original widescreen aspect ratio (2.35:1). Camera angles are well-chosen to both heighten suspense and reveal just as much as Smith wants to reveal and nothing more.

There are beautiful uses of mirrors, a great phonograph scene and some super reveals. There is a single scene 1 hour and 4 minutes into the film that alone makes this film worth watching and yet discussing it even vaguely would be doing this movie a disservice.

I highly recommend this film but you will need to pay close attention to what is going on.

Although the narrative has nothing to do with it, a fun game (on second viewing) is to count the number of references to The Shining you can spot.

People Watch: Director/writer Christopher Smith likes to pull double duty. He previously wrote and directed the entertaining Severance and the horror movie Creep (which I have not seen but is in my enormous queue). His next project (directing only) is Black Death starring Sean Bean.

Dark Forces – Ozploitation week

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This week’s focus is films from down under. Dark Forces (aka Harlequin) is currently available on instant Netflix.

Dark Forces

PASS: Dark Forces (1980) – Rated PG

“Nick and Sandra Rast (David Hemmings and Carmen Duncan) will do anything to help their seriously ill son in this fantasy thriller. So, when faith healer Gregory Wolfe (Robert Powell) arrives and starts treating the boy with his impressive powers, Sandra fully embraces him and his techniques. But complications soon arise: Nick’s Senate career may be in jeopardy because his powerful mentor, Doc Wheelan (Broderick Crawford), can’t abide Wolfe.”

The film begins with the accidental drowning/disappearance of an Australian deputy governor. This is a reference to the real life disappearance of Australia’s 17th Prime Minister, Harold Holt in 1967. After only 22 months in office, Prime Minister Holt went swimming near Portsea, Victoria and is assumed to have drowned in the rough surf.

If you haven’t picked up on it from the brief description, this is a creative retelling of the Rasputin legend. Nick, Sandra, and their sickly child Alex Rast stand in for Tsar Nicholas, Alexandria, and their hemophiliac son, Alexei. Faith healer and magician Gregory Wolfe is our Grigori Rasputin figure. Historically, Alexandria often referred to Rasputin as “our friend” and Sandra refers to Gregory as “our Gregory”. There are plenty of other Rasputin parallels as well.

The plot and ideas are fascinating. The acting is generally good though Broderick Crawford doesn’t seem to do much more than show up. Robert Powell is a bit overly flamboyant but it does seem to be what the director is going for. David Hemmings and Carmen Duncan are fine as the Rasts. Outside of the main characters the acting takes a turn for the worse though not dreadfully so.

Unfortunately the movie never seems to gel properly. The movie is more interested in showing Wolfe’s hocus-pocus than the political machinations. Many things are mentioned that should be shown and vice versa. In spite of the promise shown in the film’s plot, I have to rate this a pass.

People Watch: Mel Gibson, hot off his roles as Mad Max and Tim, auditioned unsuccessfully for the part of Gregory Wolfe.

Mad Dog Morgan – Ozploitation week

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This week we are covering films from down under. Mad Dog Morgan is currently available on instant Netflix

Mad Dog Morgan

WATCH: Mad Dog Morgan (1976) – Rated R

“Ruthless bounty hunters scour Australia’s harsh outback for infamous outlaw Mad Dog Morgan (Dennis Hopper) in this thriller based on the life of the Irishman who immigrated during the 1800s gold rush. Morgan is caught for stealing horses and endures years of torture behind bars. He continues his outlaw ways after his release, and soon he’s wanted … dead or alive.”

This movie certainly wastes no time. Morgan smokes opium – next scene – Morgan steals clothes – next scene – Morgan is being sentenced to prison – next scene Morgan is being raped by evil prisoners. How can you tell that they are evil? Out of all the prisoners shown, the rapists are the ones who have bad teeth (lazy filmmaking 101). A few scenes later and Morgan is being released after 6 years hard labor.

The fast pace is a bit off-putting at first. The first third of the film disposes of all but the last year of his life in rapid fashion with precious little detail. The last two-thirds of the film cover a number of well-known incidents that Morgan was famous for, culminating in his death (not a spoiler – the film begins with Morgan’s death being announced).

Morgan was a hard-drinking outlaw and folk hero. He was capricious, flamboyant, and mercurial. The casting of Dennis Hopper in this role was brilliant. I was actually worried at Dennis Hopper’s casting as he often overacts but he was really terrific here. A side note: Morgan was known as Mad Dan, not Mad Dog but Mad Dog Morgan makes a better title.

Dennis Hopper is aided here by a good Australian ensemble. Jack Thompson is authoritative as Detective Mainwaring. Frank Thring (Ben Hur, El Cid) is his usual fun self as Superintendent Cobham.

Perennial aborigine David Gulpilil plays Billy, Morgan’s friend. This is odd because historically Morgan was also known as Billy the native. There is an implied homosexual relationship but Billy mysteriously disappears late in the film. About the time you start to wonder if you missed something, he reappears but only in an obligatory wrap-this-storyline sense. David Gulpilil is also credited with the aboriginal songs and didgeridoo music.

It is hard to review the film as it is clear that this copy has been chopped to pieces. Netflix has this listed as rated R but there is very little here to be objectionable. There are some very obvious cuts present. One of the superintendents wants a piece of Morgan besides his beard but that bit of dialogue has been excised. There are several other obvious dialogue cuts. An early killing receives a very abrupt cut. The prison rape is implied but again it appears as though this scene must have been longer. This must be a print that was edited for television which seems odd given the widescreen aspect ratio.

The Australian scenery is wonderful naturally but unfortunately this copy seems a little out-of-focus. This makes the cinematography a little difficult to appreciate. Despite all the flaws, I heartily recommend this film just on the strength of Hopper’s performance.

People Watch: Character villain Michael Pate appears here briefly as Superintendent Winch. He also has a small role in yesterday’s Howling III – The Marsupials.

Thirst (1979) – Ozploitation week

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This week I’m covering genre pieces from down under. Thirst (1979) is currently available on instant Netflix. Please note: this film has nothing to do with The Thirst (2006 – available on instant Netflix) or Thirst (Bakjwi – 2009 – disc only) – even though both are also vampire movies.

Thirst

PASS: Thirst (1979) – Rated R

“Innocent and naïve Kate Davis has just been kidnapped and taken to a remote village by a cult that craves blood. But why? According to the prophecies of the Hyma Brotherhood, she must fulfill a destiny (preordained ages ago) by marrying the demon cult leader and helping his minions quench their insatiable thirst for blood. Satanic rituals and unspeakable torture abound in this hypnotic horror flick that’s definitely not for the squeamish.”

I’m sure there is an interesting story buried here somewhere. Unfortunately buried is the correct term – expect to dig through a ton of exposition here to find the nuggets. Kate is a descendant of Countess Elisabeth Bathory (see Hammer’s Countess Dracula for a good telling of that tale although it is not currently available on Netflix) and the cult needs her ‘royal’ bloodline to improve their bloodline.

The brainwashing attempts give them an excuse to stage a scene and then go ‘oh it’s a dream’. Generally this is okay once in a film but multiple times becomes tedious especially when the film isn’t about dreams. The whole movie is pretty tedious and formulaic. Pointless chase -> Boring exposition -> Baffling dream sequence -> Try to feed Kate some blood -> Repeat.

Performances are all over the map as if the director just let the actors do what they wanted. Chantal Contouri is wickedly mediocre here as the heroine. She never seems terrified or even upset at anything that happens to her. Shirley Cameron is over-the-top as the sinister Mrs. Barker – perhaps making up for Chantal’s indifferent performance. David Hemmings is just fine as Dr. Fraser but certainly not enough to save the movie.

Now I feel as though I’ve been too mean to this picture. There are some good gags such as the shower scene and the helicopter sequence. It is unnerving to see blood come out of a milk carton. Once you see a vat of blood, you know someone is going to fall into that but it is still a good gag. Unfortunately the good points only lift this up to passably watchable.

People Watch: Perennial villain Henry Silva (The Manchurian Candidate, Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai) whose film career stretches over half a century again plays a villain here. Robert Thompson (Patrick from Patrick) appears as well.

Howling 3: The Marsupials – Ozploitation week

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This week we are covering genre films from down under. Howling 3: The Marsupials is currently available on instant Netflix

Howling 3

AVOID: Howling 3: The Marsupials (1987) – rated PG-13

“Professor Harry Beckmeyer (Barry Otto) is convinced that werewolves exist — a belief stemming from video footage shot in 1905 by his grandfather in Australia. In the footage, a group of aborigines stand in front of what appears to be a werewolf that they’ve tied to a tree and killed with their spears. When Beckmeyer hears reports of werewolf sightings in Australia, his longtime dream starts to become a reality.”

Jerboa, our heroine, is on the run from a tribe (ok just a bunch of people dressed in rags) of werewolves (weremarsupials?). Donny, a member of a film crew filming Shape Shifters 8, finds her on a park bench and gets her cast in his movie. She is being chased by three weremarsupials dressed as nuns. There is also a Russian ballerina who defects and is a werewolf. Anthropologists, various military officers, and U.S. National Intelligence Agency are on the trail of the weremarsupials as well. Confused yet?

Donny finds out that Jerboa has never seen a movie before. Donny takes Jerboa to go see a terrible horror movie called “It Came From Uranus” which oddly also appears to be about a werewolf. This should already give you an idea of the caliber of writing in this film.

The acting is also pretty bad. There is a priest on a bus that delivers some of the worst line readings I’ve ever heard while addressing the camera instead of the person his character is talking to. The ballerina’s performance is wildly uneven. No one in the film is particularly good.

The werewolf transformation sequences, a key ingredient in werewolf movies since at least Werewolf of London (1935) are just dreadful. Many of them are accompanied by a strobe light that naturally isn’t easy on the eyes. Werewolf point of view is represented by a fish-eye lens. The special effects sadly just aren’t.

There are a few good gags in the film – a fall from a building, a skeleton, a bazooka. Unfortunately they also make no sense. The fall from a building occurs from the roof except that the character wasn’t on the roof. Why does one of the hunters have a bazooka? How do they have way more weapons and equipment than they were carrying?

Finally the movie just doesn’t know how to end. We have the climax and then the movie just keeps going and going because they try to set up a gag similar to the ending of the original movie. Avoid this movie unless you really need a reason to understand why The Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf wasn’t as bad as the series gets. Disclaimer: I have not seen episodes 4-7 so I cannot comment on where the series goes from here.

People Watch: Another film so bad that I am reporting on who was not in it. Nicole Kidman had been considered for a role but thankfully didn’t get it.

Strange Behavior – Ozploitation week

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This week we celebrate our genre friends down under with a salute to Ozploitation. Strange Behavior is currently available on instant Netflix.

Strange Behavior

PASS: Strange Behavior (1981) – Rated R

“Strange behavior, indeed! If you like gritty slasher movies with mounting body counts, this bud’s for you. A madman (or men?) is hunting human flesh and doesn’t discriminate between adults or children. (One kid has his hands slashed off while in the shower … should have washed behind his ears, I guess!) Michael Murphy and Louise Fletcher star in a movie directed by Michael “Billy Jack” Laughlin.”

Ugh. One of the things I hate about some teen horror films are when they have actors that are clearly past their mid-20s playing teens. This one is just awful in that regard – were any of them teens? The classroom scenes are just painful – was everyone kept back a decade?

The costume party scene is even worse. Apparently they wanted to feature the music playing so they have all the ‘teens’ jumping up and down while a particular song is playing. The laboratory looks like a warehouse. They appeared to use what few props were lying around. Two lonely rabbit cages on a trolley are what passes for scientific equipment.

Later people apparently leave their 11-year old alone in the house with a large note prominently displayed on the door. The note states that they’ve gone and the house is unlocked with little Timmy upstairs. This is after multiple murders have already occurred in this small town with no one knowing who the killer is.

The film is not all bad but it can’t really be recommended. The acting ranges from terrible to passable and Louise Fletcher is completely wasted. The premise is mildly interesting (even if much of the film makes no sense at all) and a good twist at the climax is well-handled. For a more modern movie with a somewhat similar premise, try Disturbing Behavior instead.

People Watch: Writer Bill Condon appears as Bryan Morgan. He later went on to write screenplays for Chicago, Dreamgirls, and Gods and Monsters.

Patrick – Ozploitation week

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This week I am covering genre films from down under. Patrick is currently available on instant Netflix.

Patrick

WATCH: Patrick (1978) – Rated PG

“After murdering his mother and her lover during a bathtub tryst, young Patrick (Robert Thompson) lies comatose in a small, private hospital, where the only motion he can muster is involuntary spitting. When a young nurse, recently separated from her husband, begins working at the hospital, she senses that Patrick is trying to communicate with her psychically. Soon after, the men (and women) in her life mysteriously begin to die.”

“I’ve got a weird feeling” – “Indigestion?”  – Yep. You betcha  – after watching this film.

While I enjoyed this film, it is very slow-moving (what did you expect when the title character is comatose?). This was made in the late 70s when everyone was rushing psychic phenomena movies to print in the wake of Carrie’s success. Because this trend was new at the time, they take a lot of time slowly building up Patrick’s ability. I do recommend this film if you have patience as it is an interesting story but Carrie, The Fury, and The Medusa Touch are better movies on the same subject.

This is a bizarre PG film.  While enough was apparently cut for a PG rating, this film still contains brief nudity including male full frontal, sexual activity, profanity, attempted spousal rape, a handjob, and mentions of necrophilia, enemas, and nymphomania.

The original film was 140 minutes but was trimmed to 112 minutes for U.S. release. While the movie feels like it runs too long at 112 minutes, it also leaves a lot out so the editing is somewhat poor. One character’s fate is shown after the fact, another’s fate is never determined, and there are a few other inconsistencies. The director has stated that the extra footage is unfortunately lost.

It was mentioned in Not Quite Hollywood that Quentin Tarantino patterned some of the Bride’s scenes in Kill Bill after this movie and it is pretty obvious that this is true. Strangely this Australian film spawned an Italian sequel, Patrick vive ancora (1980 – Patrick is Still Alive) that was simply a reimagining of the original with none of the cast or crew.

People watch: Director Richard Franklin later directed the much better Road Games and then directed a number of Hollywood movies. He later directed genre pictures such as Psycho 2, F/X 2, and Link but never had a real breakout hit. His last film was Visitors (2003) and he passed away in 2007. Not Quite Hollywood is dedicated to him.

Not Quite Hollywood – Ozploitation week

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This week is dedicated to our filmmakers down under. Not Quite Hollywood – a documentary about Ozploitation is currently available on instant Netflix.

Not Quite Hollywood

WATCH: Not Quite Hollywood (2008) – Rated R for for graphic nudity, sexuality, violence and gore, some language and drug use

“Explore the unofficial history of Australian cult film with this provocative documentary on the “Ozploitation” flicks of the 1970s and ’80s. Filmmaker Mark Hartley explores the violence, sex and nudity rampant during this period of lax restrictions. Jam-packed with film clips, poster art and international advertisements, the film also features anecdotes from numerous celebrities about this dynamic period in Australian cinema.”

Watching this film is actually what inspired me to do Ozploitation week. This is a very fun, fast-paced chronicling of Australian genre films. There are a ton of movie clips and plenty of interviews with the applicable stars, directors and film critics as well as special guest Quentin Tarantino. There is also a lot of nudity, sex, violence, and language as befits an examination of exploitation films. By a lot of nudity I mean a LOT of nudity. I lost track of the number of nude women 10 minutes into the film and quite a lot of the nudity is full frontal, both male and female.

The first portion of the documentary is called “Ockers, Knockers, Pubes & Tubes” and covers the gross out and sex comedies. These sprang up as the censorship rules were lifted when Australia’s R-rating was established. Under the R-rating, no one from 2-18 was to be admitted. For those interested, this is where the majority of the nudity is presented.

“Comatose Killers and Outback Chillers” covers the quickly burgeoning horror genre. Horror typically costs very little to make and generally ranges from profitable to extremely profitable. It is why so many independent directors start in this genre. They even mention later in Not Quite Hollywood “…but splatter is cheap”. The new Australian R rating allowed for some over-the-top horror movies, many of which are featured here.

The third part, “High Octane Disasters and Kung Fu Masters”, covers a variety of action genres from kung fu to the post-apocalyptic.  There is a mini-focus on stuntman extraordinaire Grant Page. During the 70s there weren’t many (any?) safety restrictions on what you could do on a stunt. Some of the stunts in this third part are absolutely amazing – back before special effects took over. There are numerous car and motorcycle crashes as well as many scenes of people really being set on fire.

They also cover Australia’s biggest crossover hit, Mad Max in this section. Besides putting Mel Gibson on the map, Mad Max was the first (only?) of the Ozploitation movies to cross over to mainstream cinema. They don’t mention the sequels which is just as well as they definitely aren’t as edgy as the original.

Overall the documentary has an excellent fast-paced flow and a good balance between interviews and clips. I highly recommend it for genre fans. I especially liked how they played even more interviews as they rolled the credits. The only drawback was that there was a little too much of uber-fanboy Quentin Tarantino

Netflix has enough of these Ozploitation films available for instant play that I’ve devoted this whole week to them (although I’ll try to spare my wife from having to watch them).

People watch: While the whole film is nothing but people watching look for scream queen Jaime Lee Curtis in a brief interview and a scene from Road Games and a very young Nicole Kidman (not interviewed) in BMX Bandits.