Additional Amazing Spider-Man 2 Idiocy

Last year I dissected the awfulness that was Man of Steel. The movie so appalled me that I wrote three separate blog posts on it.

Amazing Spider-Man 2

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is not appalling and I just gave it a meh review BUT there is so much wrong with it that I’m having to devote a second post to it. This time I want to go into some detail on the plot. I won’t post spoilers but I do consider items in the trailer and the first two thirds of the movie to be fair game.

Let me start with the trailer. Often a trailer will have a scene that ends up cut from the movie. The trailer for Die Hard 2 had a great scene with John McClane wandering the air ducts, complaining about how this was how he spent last Christmas. Disney put in a scene with Mike Wazowski as a Disco Ball that was not actually in Monsters University. Those may be a little unfair but they have nothing on The Amazing Spider-Man 2’s trailer.

First off, the Andrew Garfield voiceover, where he is concerned about running into too many enemies, is not only not in the film but that is not even how his character feels at ANY point in the film. The scene where Harry Osborn informs Peter that Oscorp had him under surveillance is not in the film. The scene where Harry talks to his father Norman about Peter is also not in the film. So that trailer, the appetizer, is a complete cheat.

Let me skip ahead to dessert – the post credits scene. It’s not about Spider-Man. All they did for the bonus scene was insert a scene from the upcoming X-Men: Days of Future Past. While I do look forward to that movie (and have higher hopes for it), the scene is very jarring because it isn’t filmed in the same style as Amazing Spider-Man and has absolutely no connection to Spider-Man. So no after dinner mint then – what about the meat and potatoes?

I guess my main beef with the plot of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is the moronic Richard Parker subplot. The movie opens with Richard and Mary Parker fighting a baddie in a plane. They knock him down and, since he is lying on the ground, immediately assume that he is out for good. That is okay though because the baddie took care of the pilot and left him where he would just flop over onto the control stick, sending the plane into a steep dive.

Richard is desperate to upload his information to a location called Roosevelt because he fears the information will be lost if he and Mary go down with the plane. This is all well and good until we find out later that they are the only two people in the world who know where this is, making the whole data transfer rather pointless.

Speaking of Roosevelt, the trailer reveals that this is a secret underground lair, underneath a disused subway station. It hasn’t been used in over a decade by the time someone discovers it and yet shows very little dust and no cobwebs. It serves almost no purpose, other than to deliver a single tiny nugget of knowledge that isn’t actually important either.

Also, I have to ask: Was Richard Parker Bruce Wayne’s father? I ask because I can’t believe that you can fund an entire underground lair on the salary of a scientist. It’s a train car full of scientific equipment (fully functional after over a decade) that rises up out of a disused, yet fully functional, subway station.

The movie continues in this idiotic vein but I’ll refrain from spoilers. Andrew Garfield and especially Emma Stone help make this worthwhile, much as they did the first one BUT this is not an auspicious beginning to the summer season