Post-Shocktober Dreck

In addition to the plethora of wonderful horror movies I wrote about in October, I had to sit through a lot of dreck. Here are some quick impressions of the rest of horror.

Celluloid Bloodbath (2012) – Not Rated

“Hosts Happy the Zombie, actor Joe Zaso and scream queen Raine Brown introduce a deliciously terrifying selection of horror movie previews. You’ll also hear anecdotes from the people who make and star in the films.

I like trailer-style documentaries. Trailers from Hell is wonderful, Not Quite Hollywood is awesome, and the 42nd Street Forever discs are intriguing. Celluloid Bloodbath looks like it was edited in a cuisinart. They have random guests introducing random trailers (some of which are not even horror). They will mention things like, “in our next group of trailers…” and then the next ‘group’ will consist of a single trailer.

ATM (2012) – Rated R

“When three co-workers make a midnight stop at a glass-enclosed ATM after their Christmas party, they find themselves trapped by a menacing man outside. Soon they’re fighting for their survival as the temperature plunges and the man toys with them.”

ATM had the potential to be a nifty little single-location thriller a la Buried or Phone Booth. Instead the moronic plotting just made me want to bang my head against the wall.

Remains (2011) – Not Rated

“This horror flick set in a chilling postapocalyptic Reno, Nev., follows the survivors of a bizarre accident that reduced most of the world’s population to zombies. The group holes up in a vacant casino and fights a losing battle against the undead.”

I really liked Steve Niles’ 30 Days of Night. This is not it. Steve Niles’ Remains is just another low-budget generic zombie movie.

Werewolf: The Beast Among Us (2012) – Rated R

“When a mysterious creature terrorizes a village by moonlight, a local young man joins a team of werewolf hunters to bring it down. But as the villagers are turned into vicious beasts, he suspects that his foe is someone closer than anyone thinks.”

Hrrrrrm. This did not work when Universal forked out a bunch of money, hired Hugh Jackman, and called it Van Helsing. What made them think a much lower budget and a cast of relative unknowns (save Stephen Rea) would be any different?

The Devil’s Rock (2011) – Not Rated

“When two New Zealand commandos travel to the Channel Islands to sabotage a Nazi fortress on the eve of D Day, they discover a ferocious shapeshifting demon the Germans plan to unleash — and must fight the supernatural devil for their lives!”

Actually not too bad – this is a passable waste of an hour and a half. The very low budget often shows but the three leads are pretty good.