Donkey Punch – Don’t Get on That Boat! week

We’re wrapping up Don’t Get on That Boat week with Donkey Punch. Donkey Punch is currently available on instant Netflix.

Donkey Punch

PASS: Donkey Punch (2008) – UR – Unrated

“In a coastal Mediterranean paradise, seven people take their nonstop party from a nightclub to a luxury yacht far out to sea. When one of them mysteriously dies in a freak accident, the others come to blows over how to deal with the situation. As tensions rise, betrayal and anger emerge, and the six passengers turn against one another in a desperate battle of wills.”

WARNING: This is the Unrated version which is presumably stronger than the R version

WARNING: The R rating from the MPAA is “for a scene of strong sexual content involving an aberrant violent act, graphic nudity, violence, language and drug use.”

WARNING: You seriously may not want to know what the phrase ‘Donkey Punch” means.

WARNING: There are other terms described in the first act that you may not want to know. Once you hear something, you cannot unhear it.

I really don’t know how many warnings to give regarding this film. Netflix only lists it as Unrated so I translated that. Their description of the movie is just as coy.

WARNING: There is no “mysteriously dies in a freak accident”. There is a “dies from a mistake in an aberrant sexual practice” – one I had never heard of prior to hearing about this film.

Oliver Blackburn cowrote and directed this film. He plays this from the perspective of ‘let’s make the characters so repugnant that you’ll want to see them die’. In a normal horror movie there would be one of these characters. In this film it is most of them.

WARNING: This film is not flattering to young Britons.

WARNING: The setup is ridiculous and somewhat nauseating.

Three young British ladies on holiday spend their entire time getting drunk. They then meet a rough group of boys and go out with the four of them on a boat. They drink some more, take some drugs, drink even more, take even more drugs and then engage in essentially anonymous sex with multiple partners while filming it.

WARNING: The film is quite gory and there is a scene involving torture.

It is quite clear that director Blackburn wanted to make an extreme mark here. This is a very unfortunate trend in modern horror especially French. Just because you can do something doesn’t mean that you should do something.

The first act concludes with the aforementioned ‘accident’. In spite of all I’ve just written, the rest of the film is a pretty decent thriller as the characters attempt to deal with the consequences in various conflicting ways.

The girls are gorgeous. There is a wonderful flare gun scene (all boat movies should have one). The film is shot well and the tension is handled well although there is no humor to offset the tension. The last two shots in the film are very nice.

Unfortunately there is too much wrong with this film to recommend it. The first act is head-bangingly bad as they try desperately to manufacture the circumstances for the setup and to show how ‘proper hardcore’ the director is. I did enjoy the last two-thirds of the movie though.

People Watch: Jaime Winstone, who plays Kim, is the daughter of Ray (Edge of Darkness, The Departed) Winstone.

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