It’s Alive (2008) – Children’s Week

In celebration of the birth of our littlest angel, I thought I’d feature movies about angelic tykes. What’s that you say? There aren’t any? Hrrrrm. I guess we’ll feature the opposite then.

It's Alive

AVOID: It’s Alive (2008) – Unrated (contains violence, bloody images, language, and brief nudity)

“After participating in a series of seemingly safe drug testing experiments, grad student Lenore (Bijou Phillips) endures some horrifying side effects when her new baby turns out to be a natural born killer, leaving a trail of dead in its tiny wake. As the death toll mounts, the doting mom can stay in denial for only so long in this chilling remake of Larry Cohen’s 1974 cult horror hit, also starring James Murray as the proud papa.”

I’m going to try and avoid any jokes about how this movie should have been aborted, stillborn, etc. It’s Alive does appear to have been dumped straight to DVD. The poster, while intriguing, has nothing to do with the movie.

When Zak Snyder remade Dawn of the Dead, he brushed away the social commentary and much of the humor of the original movie. What was left was a slick but very visceral and scary movie. In this remake of It’s Alive, director Josef Rusnak has brushed away the social commentary and humor of the original movie. What is left is sadly not much.

The actors show very little range and several of the leads look more like models than people. It is nearly impossible to take a killer baby seriously but this movie plays it straight instead of for the camp value. There are no scares and only some minor gore scenes.

The script is a strictly by-the-numbers, scene-by-scene affair. While the scenes progress chronologically, many of them seem disjointed as if written without any thought to how they would fit into the whole story. Larry Cohen is listed as one of the three screenwriters but my guess would be that he simply gets credit for penning the original – there are none of his societal or delightfully trashy touches here.

According to Netflix, the original is coming soon to instant view. If you need to see a killer baby movie then my advice is to wait for that one. It’s Alive (2008) just doesn’t have anything to recommend it.

People Watch: Hunh – I’m stumped. Ty Glaser plays Marnie and was also in Bikini-Blitzkrieg Part One: Dance Domination so that’s got to count for something.